Survey Question:
What terrible (but humorous) blunder did you commit when meeting someone new?
Responses - Part I:
I TOLD THIS WOMAN I SMOKED AND HAD KIDS. SHE ASK ME TO COFFEE BUT I HAD
TO TURN HER DOWN BECAUSE I HAD MY KIDS WITH ME. AND SHE GOT UPSET.
I accidently called them my ex wives name, then I got nervous and they
said what is my name and I couldn't remember.
Though I'm usually outgoing, I was so awed by my date's good looks that
I became almost speechless. I started stuttering, mispronouncing words,
you name it. It wasn't pretty to watch and, pretty soon, she found a way
to excuse herself and I didn't see her again.
well i was sitting across from a guy eating and he has food in his beard
and i was trying to tell him it was there. hes looking around. and getting
what i was saying so i went over to him and wipe-it off and said that
i was telling you that you had food in your beard. he said thats and what
was my name. i told him and left.
i passed gas!!! hehehe
i think the most humerous bludder to happen to myself is that i meet this
girl in the parking lot of the local club as we were leaving. i was a
bit intoxicated but it did not stop us from talking and trying to exchange
phone numbers. during our conversation i did not notice that my pants
had fallen to the ground leaving me there showing her my goods. needless
to say she was very "impressed" with the package.
When I was in high school, I was introduced to a very good looking girl
during lunch hour, and as we were sitting on the grass laughing and joking,
she hit me in the stomach and I let out the noisest fart that I have ever
heard, needless to say I was extremely embarrased and stated that I had
to go to the library and left instantly, never to see her again. she is
probably still laughing about it.
I MET A GUY WHO WAS HOLDING HIS BABY NEPHEW AND I SMELT SOMETHING VERY
STINK, I TOLD HIM HIS NEPHEW HAD A BOWEL MOVEMENT AND THE MOTHER OF THE
CHILD SAID NO IT IS THE GUY THAT HAD FARTED.
went to meet someone on a blind date and started talking to the wrong
person. The person I was to meet was wearing the same color of cloths.
We talked for about 10 mins. when my real date showed up. She knew me
from my cloths and it was very funny. I went home not ending up with either
girl. I did not like either of them anyway.
Well it was St. patty's day 2001... It was two days after my twenty first
birthday and I was still celebrating. I was at a club dancing by myself
and I saw this cute guy working the floor(he worked there) anyway, I moved
over and started to use him as a dance pole trying to be sexy and seductive
but I lost my footing and fell almost bringing him down with me. It was
embarrasing. and on the night of my birthday I was dancing once again
and my pants completely ripped exposing my pink thongs and bare skin.
Well, one time I thought that there was apiece of glitter on this guys
nose, I told him about it, and tried to rub it off, only to find out it
was a zit.
I was at the movies with my first love, Michelle. We both were 16. I was
trying to become more intimate, amd was trying to hold her hand; gently
squeezing it, waiting for a responding squeeze which never came. So I
put my arm around her shoulder, which she didn't seem to mind. My hand
"accidently" slipped a bit into her blouse. Well, she let out
a scream, and stood up, causing her blouse to rip down the the front,
exposing her taut breasts to the crowd. I tried to cover them up with
my hands, which made her scream even more.
I worked in a convience store, and every morning this very good looking
guy would come in to buy something before going to work. He was an inspector
for a utility company. The crew he worked with always came in with him.
They came in again for lunch. (I was the deli mgr) After a couple months
of this, I watched for him everyday. One day, I went to get in my car
to leave for the day, I found a note that said, I think your hot. The
next day when some of the guy came in before him, I told them about the
note. They all told me they has seen (MY guy) with my car door open. They
said he put the note in there. He came in later to get his lunch, I thought
well, he thinks I am hot, so I will say something to him. I checked him
out at the register and smiled at him and said, I think you are hot too.
OOPS!! he looked at me kind of funny and said Pardon me. I said the note
you left in my car, you said you thought I was hot. All the guys with
him busted out laughing. He hadn't put the note in my car, one of the
other guys did. I felt like going through the floor, my face felt like
it was on fire. I ran to the back of the store. I was never so embarassed
in my life. I made a complete fool of my self I thought. I was to ashamed
to wait on him for over a week. He caught me outside getting into my car
after work one day, he laughed and said he was glad someone put the note
in my car, as he wanted to ask me out but didn't think I was interested.
We talked exchanged phone numbers, That was 5 years ago. We are best friends
now. We talk on the phone almost everyday, we go fishing, swimming. do
everything together, My blunder help me get the sweetest guy I have every
met in my life. He still teases me about the note.
I tripped on some stairs and grabbed him in the package and then had the
nerve to tell him it was nice to have met him.
i went up to this girl and said hello i looked down to find my fly on
my pants undone
When we were talking, I accidentally spit and it landed on his hand. Needless
to say, the relationship didn't take off.
I met aa guy that I had a crush on for a long time at a bar. We ordered
beer, but when the pitcher arived, I accidentally knocked the entire pitcher
in the guys lap. He was dripping in cold wet beer. All I could say was
I'm sorry! (with a cute smile and a red face of course)
I studered.
Telling that person what cartoon character he looks like or reminds me
of , if he looks or reminds me of.
i stutter&forget simple things
I am a bartender at a local restaurant, the night that I met my now huusband,
a few of my "girlfriends" were there also. They are a "couple"
I am not. But I have very short hair. I am also a barber, so I cut off
my long hair, to promote my business. So I am mistaken often as a lady
that likes other ladies. I treat ladies as good as I teat men at work,
because their money is as green as the men's. I live off of tips. That
night the friends were drinking, and talking about all 3 of us girls having
"fun" later on that night. It was a joke. We all talk like that
often. It has never happend.My husband & I were hitting on each other
hard. He left, called me at work about 1 hour later & asked me....."How
would you feel about taking a man to have a couple of drinks?" I
told him hang on that A few of us at work was getting ready to get off
& was going somewhere to have a couple of drinks, let me find out
where, & he could met me there. So he was there once I got there,
we danced, had a good time, & I gave him my number before I left.
He called me the next day asked me out for the next night I was off of
work. We went out, had a great time. Later on that night he told me that
he didn't think that I would go out with him because, he thought that
I was gay. As you can tell we are now married, so that worked out. But
we still joke about that first night often.
I was walking home from church one Sunday and our neighbor, who is blind,
was with his family and they were stopping off at a store on the way home,
which he preferred not to have to go to, and asked if I might escort him
to their home. I agreed, and low and behold on my the way, my panty hose
began to slip and slip and slip until they were hanging on the tops of
my shoes. Not wanting to stop and have to explain to him (my neighbor)
my dilemma and knowing he would never see it anyway, I proceeded on our
way home. Well I thought I would die when I reached our block to be faced
with guy whom I had only our first date with two nights before with my
panty hose not only hanging all over the tops of my shoes, but all tangled
around my feet. I walked my neighbor to his house and told the guy I'd
call him later. Of course I never did. I'm sure he was glad I didn't.
I took my clothes off and rolled around with them half naked on the first
date.
I was working at this time and i was a cook,an open cook where there wasnt
any doors.Well it was late and there was me and one server for that night.
I was sitting down and here come this tall man walk though the door looking
like an angel and he took my breath away.It was like the wind was blowing
his jacket back and he walked so smooth. Well i told my server i got this
let me take his order,so i did,as well with a number of other things i
asked him.I was really letting him know that i would like to get to know
him. So i took his order and he wanted a hot pastromi sandwich and this
is where it got funny. I went to get the meat he wanted out of the cooler
and it was still frozzen.So i had to put it in the microwave to he it
warmed up,well i had to keep putting it in the microwave cuz the darn
thing would'nt thow out.I was getting really nervas cuz he can see eveything
we are doing ,i would look up smile and say maybe one more time.Nope!!
This pastromi was makeing me look bad.So i gave up ,put it on bread and
survered it to him.I ran to the back and hide from him.Know it was cold
in the middle still.And would'nt you know it he ate it all and said it
was great and left a big tip. A year later i asked him about that night,and
with a big grin on his face he said i thought you were so cute i had to
still eat it.By the way it was still frozzen in the middle.
We had been drinking and dancing alnight and one of my friends wanted
me to meet this guy she knew and when we walked over to meet him , I got
sick and threw up at his feet. I was never able to walk past him again
without putting my head down.
Was riding my bicycle past an area of road work (road was being widened
from 2 to 7 lanes). Turned my head to stare at the sexy gal holding the
stop/slow sign who was dressed(?) in cut-offs and halter-top and rode
off the edge of the existing road (there was a 2' drop-off for the new
roadbed). Well, after all the people but her had found out I was ok (skinned
knee and shoulder) I explained why I had fallen, we both laughed and she
asked me out. Needless to say I said yes....
tell them they looked like a pigeon.they thought i meant a sucker but
i meant the bird!!!
I drove his corvette into a train post while he was asleep and brought
it back before he awoke...p.s. no one was hurt accept the car 1961 classic
Don't remember any humorous incidents
I was ready to leave for work & my best friend answered my phone..&
it was a guy I had just met...so while she was talking to him...he thought
I was not there & he told her he would rather see her instead of me.
When she told me that...I grabbed the phne & gave him a few choice
words & told him I had a date with his boss instead of going out with
him. So I called his boss...told the tale & got aquainted with his
boss...and each time we met I would use the Beeches phermone. The Boss
was totally mine & within 10 months of us dating, we have set the
marriage date. Now I think the Beeches had a whoe lot to do with us and
how we have just became inseperable...but who knows. The guy I was dating
to begin with has made 1 attempt to make up & I told him he would
have to discuss it with the boss after we are married. His loss....my
Fantastic gain
I was at a house party, I met this guy who everyone said had a crush on
me. I had never noticed him till that night and saw that he was my type.
Well, we were in the back yard on some swings we were going inside for
some more cocktails and I got up before he did, and lets just say that
nights three bean dip made another appearance... Very loud and smelly
situation... I laughed it off and so did he... He even came back after
getting another drink!
I was introduced to a young man by a freind. Since we worked evening shift
together she and her husband met us at the dining lounge to make us more
comfortable on our first meeting. I thought I was being very careful to
say only the most noncommittal statements to this gentleman. He seemed
a bit more worldly than I was. When it was time to order, I had already
dealt with his banter enough to know this was not going to go well. When
I ordered a baked potato and an appetizer of button mushrooms he quipped
about my eating habits. I could not help but take offense. I felt the
need to make a retort to put him in his place. Much to my dismay I made
a complete blunder of it! (Much to my dismay and everyone else's enjoyment!
) I looked him in the eye and said in a voice rather loudly. "I know
I agreed to slip in here for a Slow Screw, but I did not want that on
an empty stomach! " My favorite drink's name had gotten me into a
stickier situation than my agreeing to meet this jerk! I excused myself(
red face and all) and upon returning from the ladies room finished my
nibbling in silence, and sipped my drink the same way. His only endearing
quality was when he told me he would glady treat me to a Slowe Screw anytime
I wanted. I politely declined, as though I did not understand his remark.
We never attempted to date again! My friend was less anxious to try to
match me up after that as well.I didn't mind!
I met this chick about 20 yrs. ago, yah it's been that long ago thank
GOD. We were introduced through a mutual friend. As the afternoon started
to get late I decided to ask her if she minded if I called her sometime?
She said anytime, the sooner the better. Did I mention that she had just
delivered a 9 lb. 2oz. baby boy about 6 or 7 weeks before we met. That
was just fine with me, she was gorgeous lost all the weight that she said
she gained. To me she looked like she was about A 12teen, fine as ___!
She then asked me a couple nights later if I would like to come over for
dinner? Yah you guessed it I went with A nice bottle of wine, she also
had the exact same bottle out on the balcony being chilled on ice. Now
that means sipping for quite a while, that was ok I did not get plastered
she didn't either. We then went in to eat and the baby has now woke up.
That was great I got to play with him a little, you know what that does
to mothers, it puts thoughts in their mind (maybe,possibility) that could
be a good thing. Dinner was now on the table she came and put him in his
high-chair. We ate dinner, we had the last two glasses of wine with dinner,
she had some home made ice cream for desert with apple pie (GREAT COOK)
so we began to talk at the dinner table and you guessed it she passes
gas out loud about a 1 on the ricter scale and I said DAMN I think Dom
has gas Pretty bad now I am busting up laughing she is smiling but I took
a second look at the baby and "I sure hope Head, and Body grow into
those ears! Like can you get my she out of my mouth so I canrun out of
the house she looked at me and said aren't you going to say DUMBO ears.
No I meant when he gets a little older he will grow into those ears, it
contnued to get worse the more I tried to get out of it. Thank God I had
cleared off the table already, I excused myself and I better leave now
or you would end up cutting my ears off. Twenty years later I ran into
Mom, Dad, & son three Sundays in a row at three different places for
breckfast( His ears fit him just fine He was 19 or 20 about 6ft.1in. She
didn't say anything she looked at me and scratched her ear while looking
at me, I almost walked out and she said what are you eatting for breakfast
I said my boot, her son looked at me and wondered why I said that. The
same thing three weeks in a row she was loving it till I reminded her
who FARTED at the dinner table? she said" I will kill you if you
tell anyone" and we both laughed paying our bills for breakfast.
with out thinking about it i showed up wearing a a teashirt that said
i hate everyone else.
I was talking with this new hottie when he saw something on my face. He
used his finger to wipe it off. Much to my dismay, it was a booger that
had stranded itself on my cheek! How it got there, I dont know! How long
it had been there, I dont know that either! But luckily, he never said
mentioned it again. We dated for five months after that.
I remember going out on a date with a girl, that I wanted to impress and
have her like me. We went out for dinner and we ate then it came to dessert
then the fun started, I went to reach over the table to give her a kiss
then not relizing that my dessert was in my way I knocked it ovr spilling
it clear across the table. Luckly It missed her but I felt like a smuck.
My only blunder was buying the product. After using it I wrote to you
and commented on it. I did get a reply from you about what I might being
wrong that caused it not to work. I checked everything out closely that
you said to make sure I was using the product correct. It was all a waste
of time. I am probably ONE of those individuals that nothing will help.
I said to someone once,"Hey, I think I love you, what do you say?"
A gentleman came into my office on a sales call. He accompanied me down
the stairs, but I was so busy flirting I missed a step! I cried so loud
you'd have thought that my ankle was no longer attached! To make it worse,
I had overslept that day and decided to wear slacks as opposed to shaving
my legs. There he is - holding my stubbly leg - checking out my sprained
ankle. I can't remember a time that I was more mortified. To make the
situation even worse than that, all the nurses and the doctor that saw
me that day were male! What are the odds? I had a total of 4 men touch
my stubbly legs that day...it'll never happen again.
I had just met this woman at a dance and asked her for a dance and while
out on the dance floor, and everything was going well, i told her that
she didn't need to curl her hair to look good and she informed me that
her hair was natrually curly. I felt so small that if a reptile was slithering
on the floor and I could stand under it with both arms streched up.Wow,
was i ever embarresed.
I met this wonderful guy at a night club and we exchanged telephone numbers
and then I waited for him to call me the next day only to find out that
my telephone had been disconnected. So I had to run to the telephone company
to pay my bill so that I could get in contact with him.
Talked too much!
I was unable to talk coherently. Just too shy.
while waiting to meet a date for the first time, she explained that she
had long blonde hair, hazel eyes,and georgeous and woulding be wearing
a blue dress. we agreed to meet at corner table at 7pm. well there at
the corner was a person with the same description, so I introduced myself
and after 1/2 hour of conversation and drinks. my actual date arrived
and apologized for being late. the night continued with the three of us.
I wound up dating,and becoming a live in with the first woman I met.
I met my furture husband when he came to the door to my apartment. He
had just moved in across the hall. His name was Jon the same name of my
then boyfreind. When he knock on the door I asked who it was expecting
my boyfreind when the answer Jon came I went to the door naked as the
day I was born only to discover the wrong Jon.
I gave a look as if I was saying oh no but really I wasn't and as it turned
out we spent 10 months together in rapture...Thank God looks didn't count
that night....
I had a friend set me up with on a blind date, for the last time. When
giving me the history of this girl, he told me she loved practical jokes
and that no one could ever emberass her. So with this in mind, I decided
to take her to dinner and put hot-sauce on her food while she was away
from the table. After cringing at the thought of the mound of blazing
hot lasagna right in front of her, I began to bask in my own supported
sense of humor. After the ambulance ride and a long, long talk with her
mother, I found out that she is deathly allergic to hot peppers. Woops.
It's a good laugh now, but near-homicidal pepper wasn't funny then.
I dropped a plate of spagetti in my lap.
I'M NOT SURE, I GUESS WHEN I WAS ABOUT 21YRS.OLD THIS REDHEAD FEMALE FRIEND
LIVING IN THE APT. ABOVE ME. SURPRISED ME ONE NIGHT AFTER I GOT OFF FROM
WORK. AT 22:00HOURS (WHICH IS 10:00PM)I'D JUST GOTTEN HOME,WAS TAKING
A SHOWER AND WAS TOWELING OFF WHEN THERE CAME A KNOCK ON MY DOOR. I GRABED
MY TOWEL AND WRAPPED AROUND MY WAIST AND WENT TO ANSWER THE DOOR.THERE
WAS THIS KNOCK-OUT WEARING A SEE-THOUGH NIGHTGOWN AT MY DOOR. SAYING YOU
KNOW WHAT IT'S NEW-YEARS EVE,SO WHAT'S UP? HUH? AND RIGHT WHEN SHE SAID
THAT SOMTHING DID HAPPEN AND MY TOWEL DROPPED.
I was trying to compliment this woman I was introduced to 2 hours before
about how nice a person she was. I told her instead that I like a woman
with big personality, both of my hands were cupped inward and about 10inches
infront of my chest. 'Personality'? She laughed
Well I met this particular woman at a jerry's Pizza shop in Bethesda Maryland.
I asked her for her number and requested that, we go out later for a drink.
We met later at Ruby Tuesday's. She looked attractive just as she did
earlier when we exchanged Phone #s. As we sat down ordering drinks I noticed
something that I missed earlier inside of the Pizza shop. I wanted to
get a little closer to see what exactly it was. I didn't want to be too
obvious. So I played it off by looking at the Television behind her. I
looked at a her ear and noticed some kind of fungus was on it. It looked
like another ear was trying to grow. It was growing Where people normally
get their piercings on their ear.
Are you a Scorpio? (She was an Aries.) She said no,I'm an Aries.What are
you? I said I'm a Virgo.She said she was married to a Virgo,but it didn't
work out,but they had great sex! Do you want to dance(she said)? I said
yes and we danced and clicked.We had a close relationship for almost a
year.
i sneezed on them within 15 seconds of meeting her.
One day I saw this great guy who I had heard through the grapevine was
interested in asking me out. He spotted me from across the room and motioned
for me to come over and speak with him. I had to walk down a very short
flight of stairs (about 3 or 4 steps) to reach him. I was wearing a skirt
and heels and somehow as I walked down the steps, the hem of my skirt
got caught on the heel of my pumps. To my horror, I stumbled, and caught
myself just in time to pull up my skirt, which had been pulled down to
the bottom of my derriere`! Of course, he , after gallantly asking if
there was anything he could do to help, burst into laughter. I guess it
didn't turn out so bad....We've been together for almost 3 years now.
I DONT REALLY HAVE A BLUNDER STORY.
I too was @ a beach one evening when my group of guys were having a clam
Bake after a business meeting.. This beautiful Lady who was a life guard
was eying me for a couple of hours . I finially got the curage to walk
up to this sharp Lady and started a conversation with her. One thing led
to another and then ,she said that she was going to be relieved very soon
and asked me if I liked white Russians .. I said ,it was one of my favorite
drinks .. She said that she only lived up beach about a minute from here
and would I be interested on coming up for din-din and a drink.. Of course
I was all but studdering & said ,Yes!!!We had dinner than played some
soft music and then, she asked me into her bedroom... I thought many things...
I studdered once more and said , YES ! She kissed my lips very softly
and my man hood became alerted quickly....I'm kind of naive as it was
& kind of not a whole lot of experiences with beautiful Ladies ...
When we both hopped in bed ,she grabbed me and went down on me... Just
about that time I was sweating hard! I reached in her pants and , "
I was Shocked , Embarrassed , & all of a sudden I with drew....It
wasn't much longer after that, I grabbed my cloths and ran out her apertment..
She was a He-She...........Shit! I will never forget that night ! She
was smooth! Or was it , He ?
There was a gigantic tear in the crotch of my sweat pants during our first
yoga class together . . .
I turned around to start a conversation with the gourgeous man behind
me at the grocery store checkout line. What came out of my mouth was a
large stinky belch. I was mortified! Needless to say, that was the end
of the conversation.
WHILE WORKING ON PULLING SOME ELECTRICAL CABLES THROUGH AN OFFICE I GOT
SHOCKED REALLY BAD. I PASSED OUT FOR ABOUT 10 SECONDS AND WHEN I OPENED
MY EYES I SAW HER. WE HAVE BEEN TOGETHER FOR 9 YEARS NOW.
forgot her name ,,got lost taking her home
I didnt think you were that short.
I had a crush on my math teacher and came to school early one day and
found him naked. Since then I always was shy coming to his class.
studdering
Well this is embarassing as all get out but no one can see how red my
face is so here goes. Once, and I emphasize ONCE, a long time ago in my
younger days, I was in this bar in Baltimore, Md. and kept getting these
"come on to me" looks from this very pretty woman. After some
talking and some more drinks we decided to go back to her place. Wow,
everything's going to good to be true. So we start getting into some heavy
necking when she starts rubbing me where it counts, so I think I'll return
the favor, so I reach my hand down to the nether regions, and guess what,
there was the wrong kind of equipment there. Well I got myself together,
cussing the heshe out the whole time and got out of their quicker than
greased lighting. There that's it, now to go hide my face somewhere. That's
enough, BYE.
i suppose a blowjob is out of the question ,right??
Tripping over an object on the floor.
I walked up to this guy that i had gone out with the night before and
had had a very pssionate night of love, i had bought him a little trinket
to remind him of the night and handed it to him informing him it was the
greatest night i had ever had. He looked at me as if he didn't know who
I was, I acted very offended as i slowly began to realize, oops, this
isn't the right guy. He was almost convinced that he really was the guy
i was with when I let him off the hook and told him I was actualy joking.
It worked, we had a relationship that last quite a while.
When I met my husbands parents for the first time, I walked into their
house and saw a few pictures on the wall. I saw one picture of each of
his sisters, thinking he only had one sister and no brothers, I saw a
picture I thought was my husband in highschool and started making fun
of him saying it was a terrible picture of him and so on. Well I later
find out it was his older brother and that was his favorite picture of
himself. AND my foot was in my mouth.....(his family still hasn't forgiven
me)hehe
when i met this attractive and nice guy named john we were makeing fun
of people we saw and it was my turn and i said "look at that girl
looks like a chuawa". her nose was huge and pointed out really far
and her face was all squeezed in. and it turns out the chuawa girl was
his mother. and her face is like that because of a car accident she was
in when john was 2!
Absolutely nothing comes to mind other than ordinary things that can happen
such as calling them the wrong name!
Recently i went to this guys house that i had just talk to on the net
to meet him. I told him on the phone that i was very shy and not to take
it personal. Anyways i got to his house and he met me at the door....I
went in and we talked for a min and then i was getting ready to go into
his living room, when all of a sudden i fell into the living room...He
had forgotten to tell me that there was a step down to get into the living
room. OMG i was so embarassed. He got up off the couch and helped me up...We
laughed for a good 10 minutes about it and now till this day he always
tells me there is a step when i go over.
I told her I liked her perfume she had on and she told me she wasn't wearing
any. It was the woman behind us..
There's no easy way to describe this. There's no point in elaborating.
First kiss. I belched. End of story.
Lawrence, thank you for telling your customers about my trumpet player,
Jack, so many years ago. Now here's a recent and not so happy experience
I had. In the little Post Office, where I keep a box, I was picking up
some mail a couple of weeks ago, all spruced up and well-wet with both
Uneet unscented, and a dash of Amour Devil, whose fragrance I love. Now,
bear in mind that I am 64, and cannot bear the thought of cuddling up
with sags and wrinkles, whilst listening to tales of aches, pains operations
and grandchildren...when in walks this young, blonde vision, who flashes
me a big smile! After getting her mail (we're all alone in the tiny Post
Office), she comes over to me and says, "You smell wonderful! What
are you wearing?" I whisper, "Thank you, Lawrence", and
tell her, "something very special; I have it made up just for me."
Well, she goes on, "you smell just like my grandpa, and he was sooo
cool! Bye, now!" At least she noticed me. Maybe next time.
i stead of looking at there face i stared at her pair of 38 and lower
my eyes to see a find pair of legs
My friend took my hat off my head and as I reached for it, someone tripped
me. I fell on hands and knees in front of everyone.
I've tried the armor & didn't have any success with it so i didn't
want to try anything else for the money.I didn't tell my wife or any of
the other women I was around anything about it,I wore it tell I ran out
& it didn't seem to make any difference with it or without it,they
all seem to act the same.
My old neighbor which is my room mate now need a ride to work to return
the keys he took hom that day by mistake. I was very scared to be the
one to give him the ride cause i didnt know him. Well he pretty funny.
on the way there i spotted a PT Crusier. Well my husband and i would hit
each other in the leg and say pt crusier now youve got a brusier. And
the one that got hit would reply Yes and now youve got to kiss it or your
a big fat loser. Well i hit him and said pt crusier and he responded with
is this a new way of flirting? Cause i doint remember flirting to hurt.
my face was red the i told him the rest of it. He said so if u dont kiss
me your a big fat loser. Not knowing what to say i said i was happiliy
married but if something ever happened id look him up. Well almost a year
later my husband left me and now in living with my old neightbor and like
a teenager/virgin all over again.
I ended up calling them by former girl freinds name
I was at a party one time and meet this girl. I knew that I really liked
her and was playing around with her, telling her that me and my friend
was going to throw her in the creek, I was joking but my friend took me
serious and grabbed her and went towards the water I felt bad about it
and I grabbed on the her also. When we got to the water my friend went
to throw her legs in but I held up her top half. But she still got all
wet from the waist down and it was really cold out side. But never the
less, by some miricle she did not hold it against me and we started dating.
We have been married for 16yrs. now so I quess I did something right that
night.
I was so vain freshman year of high school that I wouldn't wear my glasses.
All I could see was this big burly guy with a starter football jersey
on! Wow, one of the other girls said that he liked me! Then they asked
if I liked him! A big football player liked me! I was so excited and I
blurted out YES! Then he sent a note through the same girl and asked me
if I would be his date after the big game tonight, and to please circle
yes or no. Again, I was so excited that a football player liked me I circled
YES! Anxiously I waited for the game to end. Attending without my glasses
again, due to vanity, I began seeing this big football jersey coming closer
and closer to me! It HAD to be him! My heart was pounding! Because I can
see only 13inches clear in front of my face, it wasnt until he was right
up on me that I CLEARLY saw this horribly acne eaten, unshaven, butt-ugly
football player smiling from ear to ear at me! Maybe it was because I
was kinda cute that I attracted him. Or maybe it was my perfume. I couldn't
really say. But after I faked being sick that night to get away from this
frankenstein, I NEVER went out without my glasses... that is, until I
started wearing Contact lenses!!! ha ha ha
After stepping out of a conference hall at a large Hotel,I seen a beautifully
figured blond leaning over a water fountain,raising her head from the
water fountain after touching her lips to the water,the blond turned her
head in my direction to look me in the eyes, she smiled as she stood up
with water drops running from the corner of her mouth an across her cheek,she
tried to catch the water as it dripped off her cheek on her white blouse,the
water dropped on her top before she could catch it exposing her left nipple
to be seen through her blouse,she noticed me reaching for my handkerchief
while I was still looking at her. She hurriedly covered her breast with
her hand,turned quickly an started to walk away. I could go on and on
but not for sure if ths is what ur looking for or not hope u like it.
I thought she would be to embarrassed now to talk to me,being only a step
away from her an starting to walk in the same direction I said after her,
you have a great wiggle too. She stopped short,turned an slap me on the
face, then turned away again. She cot me off guard with the slap but I
managed to say to the back of her head, "You are the only woman to
make me stiff at first site an I didn't even get to talk to you".
She turned around again an said,"really",with a smile. She stared
at the bulge in my pants taking a step back towards me,not looking me
in the face she said "What would you like to do about it"? I
said"I think that linins room is empty until the maid comes back".
Smiling she reached for my hand an we looked around as we walked in the
small room. When we were leaving the hotel I asked her for her phone number
an if she was free for this evening?.She said she had to pick up her fiancée
at the air port in a while so we will just have to enjoy the memory.she
smiled an took the next taxi.
one day i was at work and by the way i work at a restaurant as a bossboy(for
those who dont know i was cleaning tables and bathrooms and everything
groose you can think of) this girl came in and she was soo hot i said
"hi" and she smiled she said "can i talk to your boss?"
and i said "your are talking to the owner" and she said "ohh
really" and i said "why? did you expect something else?"
and she said "i just thought" then she said "just forget
it, i was just looking for a job", and i tolled her "ohh yeah
what can you do?" and she said "for you what ever you want"
and i smiled and she said "no i'm just kidding i have worked as a
waitress and as front desk person picking up the phones but right now
i'm willing to do anything for money" smiling. she also said "ohh
yeah i have also worked as a nasty bossgirl but they didnt pay me anough
for anything i could barely feed my self with the money i was making".
I tolled her "you wanna go out one of this days?" she smiled
and grabbed her bag she reashed for a piece of paper and a pen she was
writing her phone number when my boss got there and said to me "what
are you doing standing there, there are a bunch of tables to clean thats
what i hired you for dont make me fire you, you have been very lazy lately!"
then she turned to the girl and said "how can i help you mam?"
the girl said "no nevermind i thought this was another restaurant"
looking at me smiled and left. two days ago she went back there to eat
with her friend and she left her phone number for me i called her but
no one answers only this message machine that sais "hello im not
here right now leave a message" i always hang up but i will keep
calling.
I met him in a bookstore. At the time he came in I was looking at a hardback
book by John Grisham. He came up out of nowhere, and I droppd the book
on his foot. To beat it all it was summer and he had sandals on!
i called him by my exhusband name.
I got sloppy drunk and threw up all over.
I initiated a relationship and unfortunately I found out later that she
was on all kinds of prescription drugs, she told me that I was the "devil"
and I thought that I had been very sweet to her. I guess you never know
how you come across to someone...huh!
I had met this guy named David, and I thought he was a real hottie so
I started talking to him. Well, we were at this summer camp and there's
a very steep hill. We were walking down it and I was sorta walking sideways
so that I could see him better and I stepped on this big rock and my foot
bent sideways and I flew over and rolled down the hill. He came running
after me to try to stop me but I was going too fast and when I landed
at the bottom my foot went through a slit in this drain hole grate thing
and I got stuck there. They had to call the campus peremedics and everything
to get my foot out. It was totally embarassing and even though David felt
totally sorry for me, he was kind of turned off I guess. We didn't talk
all that much after that.
Last summer I worked as a bartender for a small private club. During one
of my shifts, two attractive men came in that I had not seen before. I
think they were checking out the place to see if they wanted to become
members. Of course,I was giving them extra smiles, and I was interested
in one of them. While grabbing a lipgloss out of my already overstuffed
purse, a kotex pad came flying out and onto the floor. There was no mistaking
where it came from, and for the rest of the evening I was "red faced"
about it. Being a woman, this kind of thing goes with the territory, but
I was so embarrassed, I could not even look the guy in the eye.
well, my humorous and very embarrassing moment was the very first evening
i met my husband for the first time. i was a assistant manager for a medium
size apartment complex at the time.and there was this guy that was not
allowed on the property due to previous problems.his name was don brown.well
one evening a good friend of mine came to my door and told me he had a
friend that was wanting to meet me.so i agreed of course. he introduced
me to this guy.he said candy this is don and don this is candy.i was like
wait a minute,"don who", he says "don george". well
i thought that was pretty strange.maybe they were trying to pull the wool
over my eyes saying that don brown was don george. i had never seen this
don brown, so i didn't know. so my response was"yeah right, two first
names for a first and last name."(don george) well guess what, i
have been married to don george who really was a ligit person for 15 years.
but boy did i ever feel stupid! signed...i still laugh about it....
Be
sure to see the rest of the survey responses in our next newsletter.
Back
 |
Uneet
Co. Inc.
275 Rt 10 East, Suite 220-417 Succasunna, NJ 07876-1358 |
|